Gratitude 6


I will walk in Gratitude.

Gratitude. Tonight I choose to give thanks, this is part of my self care. Honoring the Great-Grandmothers, the Grandmothers and all the ancestor-midwives that have come before me. My current sister-midwives who walk the path now. For the knowledge, skills and love that have been gathered and shared, passed down the line to me. I give thanks for all of this, this well of knowing that has allowed me to humbly intervene and step up when necessary to save lives.

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This path can sometimes be rocky and exhausting. I find myself feeling the weight heavily recently; the collected burden has piled up and my shoulders are slumping. Holding this space, holding the lives of the pregnant people and babies has made my hands calloused and sore. The emotions are causing my heart to weep and my soul to buckle.

I have been here before and have faith that I will move through this storm and find the sunshine again.  In fact, simply writing these words out in print is already helping to soothe the aching. I will sit in stillness, take warm baths, I will talk with loved ones and move my body.  I can feel my shoulders gaining strength, my hands are warmed, the cracks in my heart are being filled and my soul is taking a deep breath.  I will be whole and feel the warmth on my cheeks.

Some might say that these feelings should not be shared publicly, that it may make me appear weak. I strongly disagree. As a midwife, I am only a human being. I feel not only the joy but the strain and the heartache. Being open about this truth only serves to strengthen me. Acknowledging these realities allow me to reach out for support, to continue my growth. If I stopped them up and didn’t face them, they would fester and take a heavier toll; one that may cause me to walk away from this path.  Instead I will walk in gratitude, practice self care and find the strength to carry on. This is my responsibility for there are families who need me.

Image credit Aubre Tompkins, CNM


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6 thoughts on “Gratitude

  • Leia Berry

    You are so beautiful in your honesty. I understand completely. You are not alone. And even though I’ve never met you, I love you. Being brave and picking ourselves up is one step towards reaching new glorious adventures and opportunities to grow. It’s tough. When I was a little girl, people would tease me a lot. It hurt. But I will always, always remember what I thought back then and still do today as I walk as an adult… These lessons hurt and sometimes don’t make sense. But these lessons teach better than anything else. They teach how it feels so our heart become bigger and our brains can comprehend how to help others.
    I also learned to laugh more. At myself. And that helped too.

    • aubrekate Post author

      Leia, Thank you for your kind words, love and support. Lessons are often difficult and require focus and determination to get through, having support and feeling the sisterhood makes it easier.

  • Tracy

    Remember the birth that you attend today a handful of years ago? There was so so much grief in that situation and now there is nothing but pure, sparkling joy. And you were a part of that journey–for better and for worse. Yes, be bone-achingly tired. And then pick yourself up and know in your bones that you are one of the luckiest people in the world to experience this LIFE to its fullest. xo

    • aubrekate Post author

      Tracy, thank you for the reminder and the counsel. This life is indeed full and appreciating the completeness of the gifts is important to remember.