Midwives Are A Strange Breed


Through the years, I have met many midwives. Though we are all unique individuals for sure, we do seem to share some commonalities. We are empathetic, intelligent, kind, sincere, independent, clear headed. I have yet to meet a midwife that I could not find some common ground with or that I could not have a great conversation with. But, one thing is certain; midwives are a strange breed! We will hop out of bed at 2 am, drop everything at a moments notice, regularly eat on the go, take the fastest showers in the land and often leave our own families to serve others. These actions are generally understood, but what you may not know about midwifery, the stuff that may superficially make us appear strange is also the stuff that makes us unique and able to do this work.

Midwives are a strange breed

I recently had a conversation with one client that included; suggestions on natural personal lubricants for sex and what positions might be the best for comfort and to achieve orgasm, how to entertain a three year old when nursing the one month old, the best organic diaper creams, the importance of nutrition and how to prevent nipple trauma.

Through the years,  I have also noted many statements routinely said by midwives that could easily be interpreted as quite odd. For example:

  • You’re having a lot more pain? That is good news.
  • You’re leaking bloody mucous from your vagina? How wonderful!
  • You just threw up all over the bedroom? Good progress!
  • You feel like you just sat on a campfire? Yes, it does feel like that and great work.

Additionally, midwives might enjoy these “activities” and  experiences that regular humans may find disturbing. To be fair, we may not really enjoy them per se, but we appreciate them and are not at all offended when they happen;

  • Sitting in a dark room, behind a naked sweaty woman who is on all fours and realizing that she is pooping on your hand.
  • Being drenched, and I mean drenched, in amniotic fluid as you kneel on the floor in front of a woman on a stool.
  • Using a fish net to fish many things other than fish out of a pool.
  • Driving home after a long night at work, looking in the rear view mirror and realizing that you have meconium on your face…..

So, you see, midwives are definitely a certain breed, and potentially a strange one at that! And personally I wouldn’t have it any other way!!

Image credit Jennifer Mason

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